News Index :   Mike's Corner

Date Posted	November 17, 2008
News Title	Dictator,Extorsionist and asshole at large
Posted By	Michael Ludwick
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That's a full schedule for any man. My energy levels must be soaring with this new diet and vitamin thing I'm on. Just a few months ago being an asshole was hard enough and I wasn't even really doing that well any more. Now to suddenly be doing two more full time jobs on top of that is a real credit to eating well. I bet Fidel Castro is on my diet. I'll have to go to this years meeting of Dictators,Extortionists and assholes or DEHOLE as it's called by us in the know. I did all this by asking for 44 cents a day. Imagine what I could achieve at 50,60 or even 99 cents a day. I think I'll scan the 8 or 9 emails I got and make a site out of them. Too bad after 15++ years of doing this they really only get a chuckle out of me. I haven't gotten one that really got a rib breaking roar out of me. But there always is hope. Just take your time when you write. But I've lost interest in this subject and I am too busy doing what's best for Chatro. What's best is to get the new hardware and software online and start adding fun stuff to it. Usage is soooo high now it has become a frantic priority. Yesterday we had 1907 chatting and 600 doing other things. Uploading,downloading,reading and god knows what. When we get the new software and add the new rooms that have been requested I think we will be rocking to the tune of 3,000 users chatting God only know how many will be using the video option. Now I have to run out and get a new shirt and cufflinks for the DEHOLE meeting. The least I can do is look my best. I also have to figure out my platform of hate. Everybody hates the U.S. so I have to stand out. I think I will hate the Swiss. Those neutral pricks are just plain evil. Their clocks are annoying and their chocolate has added tons to asses everywhere. Neutral clock making ass wreckers! Somebody must stop the Swiss or the world is doomed. I don't have a country or an army but how hard can that be. I think our flag will be purple with a giant sphincter. The words wraped around will be "sphincters orbis terrarum iunctum". It's Latin so that makes it cool. A few hours later I figured I gotta really move on this. We need currency,national religion,my title,country name and so much more. For the currency it will be the "Mick" Fat Mike will be on the 100 Mick note skinny down to the 1 Mick. Change will be dingelberries. Of course me on the front and the amount of dingleberries on the back. The 50 Dingleberry coin will be the size of a toilet seat.The National Religion will be Proctolojism. Pews will be replaced with toilets and our symbol will be the rare and wonderful circular turd. We will worship the website ratemypoo.com.My title will be The First Dickheador his Dickness,Lord of the Dingleberry. My cabinet will be referred to as my Water closet. The party will be known as the Movement. The country will be called assholio. National food beans,broccoli and all chinese. Greetings will be "Long loaf and prosper" with the reply "Shalicutone". Taxes will be 10% more than you can make. The national food will be fried beans and broccoli. The National Bird will be the Shitbird. All furniture will be porcelain. All Government employees will wear sharkskin suits and use hey,yo,yagottabeshittinme in every sentence. They also will have to pay me 110% of their daily wages. They will do this by selling protection. The death penalty will be for every crime unless you can pay a fine of exactly 1 dingleberry more than you can beg borrow or steal. This will only be told after you pay. The only thing that won't be a crime is extortion,foul language and being an asshole.Imagration is free, exiting the country is 10% more than you have unless you can sell an immigration officer protection. Which will raise your stature in society so high that you may only leave upon death which is the punishment for trying to leave. I expect to see you all at the temple of Proctolojism wednesday afternoon at 10 AM. The High Colonic will give the sermon and you better fill the collection plate with all you got. If not the sharkskin suited ushers will kick your ass and take your wife's jewelry. The national education system will be study of the website ratemypoo.com go there now or fucking hey, you ya get me. I now have to plan our attack on the evil Swiss and their fucking clocks. We will use a methane based gas weapon and all soldiers will say "Wasn't me" after the attack.