News Index: Mike's Corner   <<  Page 1 of 3  >>  December 20, 2008 Worlds worst Economy to have Worlds Biggest Hangover When I hear it I kinda thought it was a joke. A 4 day Obama Inauguration party with Liquor stores open 24 hours a day? Getthefuckouttahere, yagottabeshittingme. 4 days of drinking in an Economy tumbling out of control. I've always watched those PSA's that say drinking and drugging won't make your problems go away but this seems to be the strategy here. I know it's a historic event but it's not History until after it happens and I think keeping the ripple flowing for 4 days is a huge disrespect to the office and the country. Not to mention those people losing their homes, jobs and everything they have worked for. Keep it simple stupid and have a simple near costless Inauguration and show the country you care enough not to piss away a billion dollars on your silly ass party. Then get your skinny ass to work filling all those promises of "Change" which you are already saying it "Will take all of us to change" well the country didn't hire all of us we hired you Mr Pres-Elect and expect you to make the change. Do something crazy. Instead of planning your re-election from 30 seconds after you take office just do a really great job and we will re-elect you. You don't need to spend 170 million dollars to get re-elected if you did the job right the first time around. Mr Obama you used the world stage to get elected, parties in Africa and dozens of country's. Now the world is watching so if you fuck this one up expect your place in history not to be a favorable one. I'll just be sitting here waiting for this "Change" to happen.  December 08, 2008 Cha-Trop-O-Losis sweeps globe I get the strangest calls sometime. Most are great. But I have been getting calls only from Men who are asking "How can I stop Chatropolis from coming up coming my computer". My first thought is do you have children? No. These guys can't control themselves and want it to be impossible. One guy even put a parental control on so he couldn't get here but then would disable it to chat. Now maybe I should feel sympathetic that I have created something that makes people addicted to such a degree they ask me how to stop. But what I think is what kind of jelly wink can't control himself to the extent that Chatropolis is a problem. Does he steal jewelry from his wife for a membership? Does he hide a laptop in the closet for a fix? Honestly guys. Open the yellow pages flip to P and find a psychologist, Psychiatrist or take up drinking heavily. Ya gotta be shitting me. So now atleast 3 people have a problem to such an extent it disrupts their lives or they think it does. Maybe the shrink community will name the affliction after the site. Can you hear it "Sir your Cha-Trop-O-Losis is so advanced we are taking away all your computers". Post you picture in all Internet cafe's and if you go into a compUSA we will lock you up. Jesus I'm gonna bust a fucking rib over this. It's just chat. Turn off the computer and take a walk or read a book. Or masturbate until you you start a friction fire in your bathroom. I wish I was making this one up but it's true. I guess the chances of getting Cha-Trop-O-Losis is low if only 3 out of our millions of users have it. So be safe. Chat responsibly. Remember to stay well hydrated and eat atleast every 12 hours while chatting.  November 26, 2008 Extra on the Sloppy Joes Ms Crystal Gunns Where is the justice, where is the Karma and where was Ms Gunns when I was a kid? (See The Video). All morning I have been hearing about former porn star Crystal Gunns now being a lunch lady in Vineland New Jersey. Well that makes the crappy grillled cheese go down a lot easier. But what pisses me off and my head is ready to explode is reporters are saying "We if she repentant and.." Who gave these idiot newsmen/women the right to judge her. So what 5 years ago she was a Porn star. Now she slings shitty food to lucky kids. Where does it say you have to repent to CNN because of your career choices. I took a horrible dump yesterday that stunk up the whole second floor is it ok with CNN if I walk by a school and fart tomorrow? Or must I repent? When did all of a sudden did the news become my Spiritual guide? And these so called experts. Now I'm gonna pop. We all heard about the crazy lady on myspace that ended up making a young unsupervised troubled girl hang herself. The lady basically got convicted of breaking myspaces terms and conditions and is facing time in the pokey. Excuse me dickhead experts but if we apply that law equally across the board we all go to jail. Who reads terms and conds? When in your wildest nightmares would you go to jail for giving false info on a site registration? I did it today! I will do it tomorrow. Where were the parents during this tragedy? I think this was a horrible thing and a pretty young girl is gone and that makes the world a little worse off. Now they say the law has to catch up with the Internet. We don't need more laws we need better parents, more books and some experts with an I.Q. higher than that of a donkey. Let's do t (MORE...CLICK LINK ABOVE)  November 17, 2008 Dictator,Extorsionist and asshole at large That's a full schedule for any man. My energy levels must be soaring with this new diet and vitamin thing I'm on. Just a few months ago being an asshole was hard enough and I wasn't even really doing that well any more. Now to suddenly be doing two more full time jobs on top of that is a real credit to eating well. I bet Fidel Castro is on my diet. I'll have to go to this years meeting of Dictators,Extortionists and assholes or DEHOLE as it's called by us in the know. I did all this by asking for 44 cents a day. Imagine what I could achieve at 50,60 or even 99 cents a day. I think I'll scan the 8 or 9 emails I got and make a site out of them. Too bad after 15++ years of doing this they really only get a chuckle out of me. I haven't gotten one that really got a rib breaking roar out of me. But there always is hope. Just take your time when you write. But I've lost interest in this subject and I am too busy doing what's best for Chatro. What's best is to get the new hardware and software online and start adding fun stuff to it. Usage is soooo high now it has become a frantic priority. Yesterday we had 1907 chatting and 600 doing other things. Uploading,downloading,reading and god knows what. When we get the new software and add the new rooms that have been requested I think we will be rocking to the tune of 3,000 users chatting God only know how many will be using the video option. Now I have to run out and get a new shirt and cufflinks for the DEHOLE meeting. The least I can do is look my best. I also have to figure out my platform of hate. Everybody hates the U.S. so I have to stand out. I think I will hate the Swiss. Those neutral pricks are just plain evil. Their clocks are annoying and their chocolate has added tons to asses everywhere. Neutral clock making ass wreckers! Somebody must stop the Swiss or the world is doomed. I don't have a country or an army but how hard can that be. I think our flag will be purple with a giant sphincter. The words wraped around will be "sphincters orbis terrarum iunctum". It's Latin so that makes it cool. A few hours later I figured I gotta really move on this. We need currency,national religion,my title,country name and so much more. For the currency it will be the "Mick" Fat Mike will be on the 100 Mick note skinny down to the 1 Mick. Change will be dingelberries. Of course me on the front and the amount of dingleberries on the back. The 50 Dingleberry coin will be the size of a toilet seat.The National Religion will be Proctolojism. Pews will be replaced with toilets and our symbol will be the rare and wonderful circular turd. We will worship the website ratemypoo.com.My title will be The First Dickheador his Dickness,Lord of the Dingleberry. My cabinet will be referred to as my Water closet. The party will be known as the Movement. The country will be called assholio. National food beans,broccoli and all chinese. Greetings will be "Long loaf and prosper" with the reply "Shalicutone". Taxes will be 10% more than you can make. The national food will be fried beans and broccoli. The National Bird will be the Shitbird. All furniture will be porcelain. All Government employees will wear sharkskin suits and use hey,yo,yagottabeshittinme in every sentence. They also will have to pay me 110% of their daily wages. They will do this by selling protection. The death penalty will be for every crime unless you can pay a fine of exactly 1 dingleberry more than you can beg borrow or steal. This will only be told after you pay. The only thing that won't be a crime is extortion,foul language and being an asshole.Imagration is free, exiting the country is 10% more than you have unless you can sell an immigration officer protection. Which will raise your stature in society so high that you may only leave upon death which is the punishment for trying to leave. I expect to see you all at the temple of Proctolojism wednesday afternoon at 10 AM. The High Colonic will give the sermon and you better fill the collection plate with all you got. If not the sharkskin suited ushers will kick your ass and take your wife's jewelry. The national education system will be study of the website ratemypoo.com go there now or fucking hey, you ya get me. I now have to plan our attack on the evil Swiss and their fucking clocks. We will use a methane based gas weapon and all soldiers will say "Wasn't me" after the attack.  November 16, 2008 New Life to The Underground Anybody with half a brain knows the value of having a chatroom on chatropolis or some other site. Yea I can get a room for something like 25 bux a year on magnachat but magna only has 20 users online. There are also a few other places but they run IFCS which is MY software and they will never see an update. They also have no traffic and restrict usage and will never be able to add features. So what does this mean to the average user? Well the best chatmasters will be staying. I will be working closely with them to provide the best underground ever. I think I can do that because I invented the concept. I exhibited loyalty by having a one time surcharge. One fat trailer trash bitch called it extortion. Excuse me but 43 cents a day is the stupidest extortion on the planet. The bounced checks alone from the uground cost us more. and yest many bounces and had declines. I never complained or daid a thing. Now they all have an opinion. Honestly if your on thee fence leave. I already have commitments from the best rooms. The rooms originally cost 14,99 per month and we still have people paying that. So if your loyalty factor is a negative number go. Go quickly and leave the traffic to the intelligent people. We supply the best chat and next week we wil be back to normal no matter what the check I have to write. I told a UG master this was to remove "chaf" more than the 20 dolar bill. And if ya can't take the truth well I'm sorry. When the new software comes online you wil be dinosaurs. For the people that accused me of a crime you can't come back. The rest are welcome, as we all know I don't hold a grudge.  November 15, 2008 Some things Chatro has been acting funny. I believe because of the increased load on the system it is making the chatserver puke every couple of hours. You can chek this by looking at the "Realtime graph" of traffic to the right. Generally it should be smooth nut now it has become jagged. This is not normal. This can cause members to have to relof and I am sorry for the inconvience. I did order one of our crucial servers and am upgrading it thru the roof compared to the machine in question. The current machine is a p4 3.0 2 GB ram and I am replacing it with a Quad core 2.66 / 8GB RAM and moving the operating system from 32 bit to 64 bit. Since the chatserver is CPU/memory intensive and is not really affected by disc IO this should cure what I believe the problem is. The machine will be ready next week. I'm not exactly leading the march on this other people think it is another issue entirely. But since communication of the entire network with this server is needed for Chatropolis to work I think that is where our current burps are originating from. Ordinarily this would be a 2600 dollar gamble but the machine needs to be upgraded anyway and it can only speed everything up. We should see as soon as the server is built and configured. For now I can only say sorry for performance issues and assure we are working on it.  November 14, 2008 Anniversary of a Real Man Today is the 6th Anniversary of my Fathers death. So I guess maybe writing something will help me actually get over it. I must be the worlds bigest pussy because I still pick up the phone to call him some times and I've never actually be able to morn him and put it in perspective.Heres a little about him The real Michael Ludwick (I'm a cheap copy) was an Iron Worker out of the DC local. He was also a member of the International Steel Workers Union. He was a very educated man and actually had to hide the fact in his line of work. He played the piano and could talk on just about any subject intelligently. He was an honest hard working man that took no short cuts. To my knowledge he never broke a law in his life. Well Iron workers do do things on strikes like bust guys in the head with a piece of angle iron but I don't count that. I started taking my Dad to costa Rica almost 16 years ago. We would fish,smoke Cohibas and play lifestyles of the rich and infamous. He was at my wedding and my inlaws and my Mom and Dad came on our honeymoon. It is still one of the best memories I have. Shortly before my Father died I bought him a Land Rover Discovery XLV8 with every option. It was to trade in the previous 2 year old car I bought him. He lived in a small town in PA and they had never seen a 55,000.00 dollar truck and he showed it to all 1300 residents of the town. I have 3 male friends, Anthony M, Skip F and my Dad. I think Skipper is no longer with us. So I got maybe one but I would have to go back to NJ and find him because he went bad. Dad I am gonna smoke those Cohiba Torpedos and drink a glass of Gran Mariner tonight. I still miss you. Patricia is burning a candle. Miguel is up there with you and I was close to coming up a few times.  November 12, 2008 ABMX.COM Starts the day from hell! On Monday I called ABMX.COM a company I was planning on buying a few servers from. I called to see if they were working vDay for the order. A very polite guy said sure and I was lookinf foward to ordering the new hardware. As usual instead of ordering online I like to make a person contact for my order plus I usually get a discount. I can usually get 5% off for a check instead of a credit card on large purchases. So Tuesday I call and Suresh Mc Slurpee woke up on the wrong side of the 7-11. I have a lot of experience of dealing with people of Indian descent.Muslims are usually very polite. Hindu's are usually mother fucking slurpee slinging pissed at the world douche bags. This is just a general observation and yest it's racist. But it is my life experience and I'll tell it the way I see it. So after I ask if there is some wiggle room this piece of cocking shit tells me to 'You should be going to ebay if you want shit" and more that I can't remember. Well everybody that knows me that that won't fly to far. I said listen you convince store cock sucker give me your boss. "Listen to me I am one of being the CEO's here". A CEO taking orders unlikely but let this guy have his fantasy. He probably lives in an apartment with 40 relatives. So I educated him. I sai ya know Hasheeshs if you talked to me like that in person you would be shitting ivory for a fucking month. Then you would need to go to the emergency room for anal boot removal. Do you understand that asshole? "I assume this means we will not be doing business today". Yea Mr Hawking we won't be doing dick. Actually this was a good thing because after some research I found out ABMX.com sells the worst shit on the planet. So after this I went to work to find another company. I was on the phone for 8 hours straight and only got 2 quotes. One was from a large company and one was from a smaller operation in Georgia.Prices aside I decided to go with the smaller company that is probably being hit much worse in this economy. Believe it or not but we actually care if our business will help someone or get absorbed into a giant office building. The equipment will take an extra week to get but what the hell. I like the south. If my heart could stand it I could go for 2 eggs over a chicken fried steak with biscuits and white sausage gravy. Now just to piss off ABMX.com and make sure this article is forever linked to them I'd like to say. Discount rack computers from 399,ABMX,computers,telco servers,dc voltage servers,rack NAS,rack systems. ABMX systems,Abmx,Abmx.com sucks,Computers,industrial. Now eat that google. LOL. Munch munch munch. Till next time.  November 11, 2008 The Week in Review This week or so has really had it's ups and downs. Trying to pin down Chatro's current resetting problem kept me up most of the week. Thank God we have a solution and have even done some small things to help out untill we can permanently. It was the 6th Anniversary of my Fathers death. The days still seems to be a bad one for me but I worked thru it with my ritual of cigars and Gran Mariner. I also had to make a tough decision to raise the price of the Underground. I had to raise it to a Rock N' Roll 43 cents a day. Surprisingly there was more positive feedback than negative. It's a good move because all the empty room that do not promote themselves will be going. The strong Chatmasters will be staying. Increasing quality is always good. Then there was the just too fucking weird. I had this lady reporting "Illegal Acts". She reported a girl in a full bikini that could have been in any fathers wallet. She ranted and raved and finally I just filtered her email address. We don't allow "Lolita's" on chatro, especially in the sex rooms but I have a picture of my daughter blowing me a kiss. With her standards I should be breaking big rocks into small ones for the next 20 years. Luckily the common sense of our users is high and this only happens a few times a year. We still filter all questionable images that are reported. Since most agency's aren't really interested and the images are usually hosted in Russia it's almost impossible to prosecute. The other side is most are from the 1970's. The victims are in their 40's and don't want to relive the horror of it. But we still do more than is required of us. Just right click and email me the URL and it gets filtered instantly. Then there was all the paperwork of getting my CR passport and associated docs.Specing out goodies for the new server and making other decisions. Then all of a sudden I started to feel good about this Obama Elect guy. He just may be able to turn this train wreck around. Hell my daughter would be an improvement over the last 8 years of hell. Monday I have to do some phone work but I should be able to actually get some sleep.  November 09, 2008 New stuff The new dbase server goes online this week. It will be a 1.8 Terrabyte screamer. Things are pretty fast already but this should futureproof us. Plus it should allow us to do things we couldn't do before. I talked to my programmer and he's putting a web2.0 interface on the new server. I have to look that up but for him to do something like that on his own it has to clearly be something good. Everything will be where it ws just a little more spiffy and allow the video portion of the server. I just woke up and my stomach feels like I had been eating Tim Tok Chim covered in Hersheys chocolate sauce all night. The bathroom is my new friend. Have fun because it doesn't feel like I will.